The big C

 There's this audit that I'm currently working on. The Fund has a bit of a funny structure that gets to my head, well everyone's head for that matter, every single year. That's what you get when you work with fussy clients. Anyway what I am going to tell you is something not very , well, um nice.

 You see, about 2 months ago, I found out that the senior auditor that worked on this audit last year passed away. She had Cancer. I was probably one of the people in the office that knew that she had Cancer because well, I called one of her colleagues because I was pissed off that she is always unreachable on Thursdays and Fridays. From that conversation that afternoon, I learned that she had skin cancer and she cannot work under stress in case it triggers the C .  I also learned that she had an operation done on the side of her face , where her hairline is but she was determined to fight it.

 But I remember her not because she had cancer or how determined she was to fight it, but of how positive she was with life.  She always made sure to come to my desk and smile at everybody along the way and say hello to me before she starts working on her files. Always telling me how "lovely" the weather is outside, with a laugh that only those living in the English/Irish terrains will understand. And as I always do, I noticed how she only uses positive words throughout conversations, with only her laughter or her eyes telling you otherwise. You can hardly tell that she had cancer as she showed no signs of it. But because I knew of her illness, at times when I talk to her, I would scrutinise the scar on her face, and I would tell myself that she is going to be alright.  She looks healthy and fit and she has so many questions for me!!

She may not have realised it, but I have always prioritized her queries. I did not want her to be stressed out because I know how working in a Big 4 company can be. Through working with her, I've learned to bite my tongue and be more patient at work. More professionalism and less sarcasm. You just never know what's going on in somebody's life.(except ENT, I cannot be patient anymore!!)

As I scrolled down her old emails today, I saw one where she told me to have a good time back in KL. In normal circumstances, I would have emailed back and told them "Oh yeah, you are so gonna be jealous of me and the sun!", but I just couldn't cause she has skin cancer, that would make me feel horrible!. But you know what was even sadder? When I realised in her last email to me, before she left for her exam break, she did not say "See you when I get back after my break!". She probably knew that she will not make it.  The auditors that I work with always tell me that they'll meet me. True enough, a few days before her exams, she called her Employer and told them that she could not take her exams and passed away a few days later. She was probably 27 at the most, with long blonde hair.

Oh, the not so nice part that I did was using her name to get my work done.  There's this lady in the office who has always been very difficult to deal with, was bantering the auditors for their lack of documentation, blahdy blah . I just said this to her "Look, can you just get me this document because  it is quite tough for the new audit team to refer back to their senior because the auditor who worked on this file died like 3 months ago. And so......(while I arch my eyebrows and tap my feet...hoping she gets my point). It kept her mouth shut......

But that's all it did! Pffft....